Tuesday, September 28, 2010

Its not a number its a direction

I weighed in this morning and I have shed another 600g this past week. I've been bummed out in the past about losing such a small amount but today i'm pumped about it!

I haven't been bad this past week - but I haven't been 100% good either. I haven't been burning 500 calories a session - more like half that, but I am looking at how to push myself further in my workouts. I will also admit to skipping Saturdays workout because I didn't feel like it (although I did a 4km walk Friday night). I also noticed this week my body wasn't asking for snacks so my daily calorie count was dropping as low as 800 on some days - i am keeping an eye on that now.

Today I didn't really get a chance to push myself in training - my nearly 3 year old had an unusually bad night so slept in our bed from 2am (meaning no one really slept well!), and the babies woke up at 10 past 6am. By the time I weighed in and got ready i'd lost 40 min of my work out so instead of the routine for today I pushed myself hard for 15 min and then started my day.

and you know what ... I found in that 15 min that I can push myself a lot harder than I have been!

Saturday, September 25, 2010

A good change

I had a fight with my husband last night ... the reasons for the fight aren't important so much as how I responded to them.

The old me: on finding out at 6:10pm that I can't cook the meal I had planned for dinner wants to pull out a green chicken curry (with rice) from the freezer and have that and most of a bottle of red wine for dinner followed by chocolate. If my husband had been where I needed him to be he could have brought home the missing ingredient for dinner (I can't get to the shops because I have two kids in bed and one getting ready for bed) and it all would have been fine. So for my lack of planning I punish myself with calorie dense food and empty calories of wine to ruin any success i've had so far. Of course by the time my husband gets home the wine has dulled my anger and I sweep it under the carpet (so to speak).

The new me: on finding out at 6:10pm that I can't cook the meal I had planned for dinner I choose to pull out some leftover 12WBT soup (creamy cauliflower) and eat that. When my husband does get home I confront him with my disappointment and storm out of the house (not ideal) but instead of heading to the bar for a drink or coffee shop for cake I take a 4km walk to clear my head and come home and talk things over with him over a cup of black tea. The end result is that issues are resolved, true feelings known and support is offered.

I am amazed at how a "diet" can change the way I approach these red flag situations and ultimately get me through them with minimal damage - Thanks Mish!

Monday, September 20, 2010

Calorie burning

I've been a little concerned reading on the forums about burning 500 calories a day - I am in serious doubt that I can do that in the time I have available to exercise each day.

I've been exercising more over the past week, getting up every morning to work out in the back yard before the day starts. I give myself an hour but without a program by the time I get dressed and organised and then stretch at the end I find i've only been doing about 25 minutes a day ... so it shouldn't surprise me when I burn between 140-190 calories a day. The pessimist voice in me says thats all I can do, and i've been believing her ... I don't know how she got a say but she did.

Yesterday, Day 1 I set out to follow the advanced program to challenge myself, but I knew my husband had to leave early for work so I was aware i'd likely have to do all of the morning routine with the kids myself. So I did my warm up, ran my time trial 1km and then came in to get a tissue and realised he'd got the girls up a good 30 min early. So as I was doing the main part of my work out I was aware they were in side needing to be changed and fed ... so surprise, surprise the work out was cut short and I burnt a total of 168 calories.

Today, Day 2 I agan set out to follow the advanced program but added in my re-run of the 1km time trial because I hadn't recorded the time right the day before. My husband had to be at work by 7am so he left just as I started. I did the whole of the main routine and the 1km run then I realised it was 7am and came to check on the kids. Only one was awake so after some quick stretches I got her up and she was happy to let me do my ab work ... I kept going until my eldest woke up 15 min later and then I got breakfast (all the time my HRM still registering I was around 95-110) I turned the monitor off when I stopped flitting between jobs and found that in 1hr 20 min I'd burnt 463 calories.

Now the difference between these days tells me that I need to:

a) set the alarm 15 min earlier to give me some getting ready time before my 1 hr work out

b) stick to the whole workout and not cut corners because kids are waking up

c) have a talk with my husband about not getting the kids up before 7am unless he can sit with them

I'm feeling pretty stoked I burnt 463 calories this morning ... now to push myself to hit the 500 mark!

Things are changing

I've started to notice my body is changing. I know its day 2 of the program so it seems a bit 'soon' for some but I joined up on day 1 of pre-season so to me its actually week 5.

The first change I noticed was when I went to take my before photo - my arse isn't as big as I remember, in fact I have an old "before" photo from 2008 when I was 10 kilos heavier ... and my arse is A LOT larger there!

The second change I noticed was my pants are feeling looser, in fact when I was running last week I had to tie up the draw-string on my track pants because they were falling off. I remember putting these pants on a few months after having the twins and they were skin tight! I thought the pants could have stretched with age but i've started to notice my jeans are looser too ... I can pull them out from my waist about 3cm and they're feeling loose around the top of my legs too!

The third change I have noticed is my chin is more defined. I have always seemed to carry a bit of extra weight under my jaw, not enough for a second chin (unless my head is tilted down) but there isn't a lot of definition between my head and neck. It hasn't all vanished but i'd say its almost halved itself.

and the best bit of all - my husband has noticed and commented on the changes without me having to say anything. He also thinks my fingers have slimmed down but I haven't noticed that myself.

So here's hoping the scales have noticed and I have another week of weight loss, I know being close to a weight i'm happy with that my numbers will start to slow down at some point ... I just hope its next week, and I will probably say that next week too!

Thursday, September 16, 2010

I don't REALLY want to post this ...

This is where I am starting from. Its not the heaviest i've been but its certainly the flabbiest my stomach has been. I know stretch marks are a badge of honour Mums wear, but i'd like mine to be on a toned stomach ... and in twelve weeks I plan to show that!

Wednesday, September 15, 2010

A true sign of support

I had a bit of a hard day yesterday, as much as I tried to focus on the positives the negatives won out and saw me snacking on left over meatballs that were supposed to be the twins lunch.

It wasn't until I posted my confession on the forums that I understood why I defrosted and ate the meatballs and had an 'ah-ha' moment. I am coming to realise that I am a perfectionist, and one of the downsides is that I don't like to fail. The odd thing is I don't view 'quitting' or 'self-sabotage' as failure. It is only when I try my best, give it 110% and don't make it that I consider myself as having 'failed'.

I set myself the goal to be 59.9kg yesterday, so being 60.3kg by my rules I had failed. Now most normal people would realise that "it aint over till its over" and that with calorie control and exercise there is every chance I will be 59.9kg (or less) next Wednesday.

This is where my inner pessimist gets scared and realises that I am succeeding and nearing my goals, so she steps in and starts the self-sabotage ... "oh you NEED those meatballs" ... "you'll only have 1 ... 2 ... 3 ... 5 ... oh you might as well eat those others now!"

The thing is I didn't realise what was going on in my head until I wrote my confession. Now I can see why I don't stick with diets. It is just when I get close that the pessimist who doesn't think I can do it, starts to get scared that I might actually succeed and steps in to undermine me. Now that I know what going on, and that it is because "I am succeeding" I can disarm the pessimist.

I am succeeding, I will get to my goals ... why did I ever doubt it!

After sharing this with my husband he now sees how important this is to me and has agreed to make the stop off and buy me the hand weights I need tonight ... He's had an early start today and will have a late finish, but on the way home he'll go out of his way to pick them up for me ... what a sign of support!

A good sign

We had our first diet hurdle to overcome today. I have the whole week worked out with meal plans and bought everything we needed a few days back. The problem is I didn't realise how many of this week's dinners required 4 handfuls of salad greens on the side ... so I realised last night just as the fruit & veg shop would have been shutting that we were going to be out of salad today for lunch ... making a wrap that calls for lettuce without lettuce leaves it a little lean.

So how did I overcome this? Did I drag all three kids to the shops today (chaos) no instead I decided to have pizza for lunch ... a blow out you say? no I made us the tomato, basil & anchovie pizza from the crunch time cook book - 309 cal! I should have had some salad on the side so i'll have the salad as a snack when the fruit & veg order arrives this afternoon.

So I'm taking my ability to swap and change and find a healthy alternative as a sign that my diet choices are changing for the better!

Tuesday, September 14, 2010

A change of perspective

I really need a change of perspective this morning, its a dreary day today and i'm seeing the glass as half empty so in an effort to re-calibrate I'm going to list what I have:

I have shed 500g this week

I have shed a total of 3 kilos since starting pre season

I am 36% of the way towards my ultimate goal and the season hasn't started yet

I am 400g away from being in the 50's

I have a healthy BMI of 24.5

I am starting to feel my jeans hanging off me slightly

I have been up at 6am the last two mornings to exercise ( and 6:30am the morning before)

I have been having early nights to give myself 8 hours of sleep to face the day (I had been living on 5 or 6 hours)

I have been making low calorie meals for myself and my husband for the last three weeks

I have helped my husband lose weight and reach a BMI of 22.6 (71.5kg)

I have three beautiful girls who make me smile

I am starting to feel the changes in my body

The main reason i've been a bit gloomy today is that when I hopped on the scales this morning I really had hoped to make it into the 50's ... but losing another whole kilo in a week when i'm so close to my goals is not realistic. I had set myself a challenge to be under 60 kilos by kick off ... the good news is kick off isn't for another 5 days so if I pull my finger out I can still make it!

This shouldn't be hard!

To diarise that is ... but it is.

Let me explain myself. I am an organised person, I love getting things in order, clearing things out, sorting, making new systems, making lists, ticking things off. So you would think "mark it in your diary" would be easy ... the problem is I don't have a diary but rather two caledars neither of which quite fit.

I have the normal wall calendar with birthdays and events on it but there isn't enough room to cram in work outs and shopping trips. My other calendar is a spreadsheet with the whole year on a page, it holds all the information I am keeping track of, so the running balances to three different bank accounts, the calories i'm eating, the calories i'm burning the net loss of calories, how many days old my twins are (i'm counting up as to how many day's i've made it through) and a column for when visitors are coming to stay, and reminders of when to do things and people's birthdays. So trying to expand that to fit 'when' i'm doing things in a day was asking too much.

So I needed a diary before I could 'diarise', but the reason I don't have a diary is because my daily routine only varies slightly each day and is the same week by week. So I decided to revise the daily schedule I had made for the fridge when the twins were younger and I needed to track who fed last and when.

I'm pretty happy with what i've come up with. I've taken quite a few of those free promotional magnets you get in the post and coloured them black and cut them into windows, so now I print off the names of the meals i'm cooking for the week and I can stick them on the fridge next to the day and meal i'll be cooking them for. I've also used my label maker to make basic magnets for my workout types and the places I regularly take the kids in a week. I'm planning to make more magnets for shopping types (fruit & veg and supermarket) and i'm sure there will be more revisions as time goes on but for now here is version 1 :

I will admit its not a beautiful thing, but its on the fridge so I can't be too fussy ... and as you can tell by the side of the fridge, its an improvement on what was there :)

My plan is also to use a whiteboard marker to add any unusual activity for the week - like husband working late, or a visitor or birthday ... this is just a boring week though so no marker aside from the date.

So after two days of pondering how to diarise I feel I have a working system. I honestly didn't think it would take me this long, that i'd just scribble a few dates on the calendar and be done with it ... now to ponder the mini & major milestones some more ... what can I do that I would feel proud of ... ahh thats going to take me a little longer to nut out.

Saturday, September 11, 2010

I did it!

Ok so it feels a bit silly to be proclaiming "I did it" already but I've had a good day.

Last Saturday when I bought my new sneakers I was determined to go for a run, but after 10 minutes I came home out of breath - a cold was on its way (and it was crazy windy here!). Since then I've been sick, I thought it might be more than a sniffle so I went to the doctors and was given not one but two scripts for my sinus infection and while this stuff is apparently the best and strongest treatment i'm going to need the second dose because I am still using Sudafed PE with anti inflamatories to get through the day (i'm at maximum dose). I can tell its not just a sinus infection because my lungs ache at times too.

So i've been feeling bummed out I can't train (heck i'm having trouble breathing at times) but i've been really good with my eating and making sure I get up and make healthy low calorie meals. My aim was to nurse myself through and 'hopefully' be well enough to make Michelle's training session today ... and I DID IT!

I made it out the door, I remembered water and a towel, I packed a healthy lunch for post work out nibbles and I got there with plenty of time to spare.

I'm also pleased to say I ran the 1km time trial in 5min 55sec - not bad for someone who's not been training well or even breathing well for the last week!

I'm also stoked to notice that in the work out I burnt 512 cal, and on the walks there and back (I went in by train so I power walked a bit) I burnt another 100 cal each way ... So my effort for getting out of the house has definately been rewarded.

It was really great to meet Michelle and her team and to work out on such a lovely day. I have taken a lot away from the running training, the strength work and the cardio work. Everything we did I felt I can get up tomorrow and do in my own backyard with no hassles.

At this stage I'm not feeling too sore - worn out, but not sore. I'll be interested tomorrow to see what's hurting.

Tuesday, September 7, 2010

My pre-season challenge to myself

Like a lot of us in here i've caught my inner voice saying "oh you can't ..." about the 12WBT so i'm doing the best I can to motivate myself to start NOW not in 12 days time.

I weighed in on day one of preseason and then realised Mich has us weigh in on wednesday so I weighed in 9 days later. I noticed a 1.2kg loss in that time but rather than shout it out loud that my exercise and diet changes had done this I told myself "oh it must be a fault with the scales - I'll believe it if i'm still this weight next week"

well a week later and i'm not the same weight ... i'm another 1.3kg lighter ... so i've lost 2.5kg so far in preseason!

My goal for the 12 weeks was to lose 5 kilos and tone up ... my goal for pre season is to lose another 0.9kg by the 20th of September and be under 60 kilos for the first time in a decade!

I think I need to rethink my 12 week goal :)

Thankyou so much Michelle for the crunch time cook book that i'm making all my meals from (and not finding any need to snack!) and thankyou for the 12WBT and the support so i can realise that having a healthy weight IS possible for me!

Now to spend some energy wishing my husband and I are well enough by the weekend so I can make the training day in Sydney!

Monday, September 6, 2010

Ahh crap! Set back number one

I did what I intended to do this morning. I was determined to get up in time to make my husband a healthy lunch ... and if he had to get up at 5am I would too ... problem was I missed the news from him at midnight that he wasn't needed quite so early. I still woke with every alarm from 5am onwards and barely slept between them because my throat is so sore that swallowing saliva hurts. I did end up getting up around 6:30am and making his lunch, but then climbed back into bed ... an early morning workout was not on the cards today.

So i'm sick. Aside from the last two weeks of pre-season I feel like I have been sick all winter, one cold after another after another. At first I thought it was the kids passing germs around but when we were home for two weeks at one stage we didn't improve. It clicked with me then that its the house thats making us sick. I know it sounds like an excuse but we have a mould problem here ... not a little one but a severe infestation that had me cleaning the walls behind pieces of furniture because the mould had gone unchecked and was now three dimensional. So I did a lot of cleaning and a lot of clearing out the house and airing it every day but i've gotten slack recently. I need to do another round of cleaning before the twelve weeks start or I won't be good for anything.

I have been good with my eating, and pulled myself out of bed to cook three meals today from the crunch time cookbook.

Now to take myself back to bed so I can get better and enjoy my new pair of sneakers!

Saturday, September 4, 2010

Gearing up

I braved the local mega-plex that I hate yesterday and went to Althlete's Foot to be fitted for new sneakers. I can highly recommend going there early in the day - I went at 9:30am on a Saturday and was the only person in the store. The sales assistant showed me three pairs of shoes and suggested a more supportive inner sole to help with my collapsing arches which feels good. He was really willing to help, and he didn't mind getting me a cheaper shoe to compare to the one that fitted best. I left there feeling like I bought the best possible shoe for my foot. I haven't had a chance to try them out yet but I'm planning to go for a run this afternoon if my husband doesn't mind (its fathers day so a bit steep to leave him with all the jobs around the house).

Oh and in motivation to get running, I've started pulling on my old gym gear in the morning so I'm dressed ready to work out. After all, i'm not leaving the house so there's no one to comment on my appearance. It's also helping me to feel motivated to get outside and do a few laps of the yard (my running option when i'm with the kids). I had forgotten just how many pieces of gym gear I had bought last time I joined up (early 2008) and i'm pleased to report it fits about as well as it did when i was going to the gym regularly- I was going daily but still not getting under 60kg ... this time i'll do it with the better diet!

I've also taken the time this morning to put together a work-out play list on my Ipod so i'm keen to see how that goes in pushing me to work harder.

As for buying work out accessories i'm still divided about what to get. I realised on Friday that the back step to our house would work really well for step ups so I'm thinking i'll try using that for the first few weeks to see if I can get away without buying another thing to clutter up the house. If I do need it i'll get it but I'm going to wait and see a little longer ... although I have decided to get some weights, I think i'll take the 5kg option (out of the 3, 4 or 5kg choice) because I have two very heafty babies I lift regularly so I think I can push myself to lift more than the minimum.

anyway its a lovely (if windy) day so i'm going to get my arse outside and exercise ... assuming I don't get blown away :)

Thursday, September 2, 2010

Great motivation

Oh my goodness! I had the best motivation to work on my abs today ... I was doing the core strengthening exercise thats like you're holding a push up but you're resting on your forearms ... I forget the name ... anyway I was working out at home and hadn't bothered to put a top on over my bra ...

Oh my! looking at my stomach sagging directly down ... it actually looked a bit like a mountain - pointy in the middle and tapering off to the side ... I guess thats what carrying 5.7kg of babies (plus placentas and fluid) to 37 weeks will do to your skin.

So fat burning and abs work are high on my list of priorities, as is looking into skin firming creams and if they work!

Pre season gear up

Ok so i've been waiting to see what Michelle was going to tell us to go out and get for the 12WBT, but now that I know i'm trying to talk myself out of spending the money. The stupid thing is I have two of the things on the 'optional' list but am telling myself I don't need to buy things on the 'needs' list.

Let me explain. In our family I'm the one who monitors the spending and pays off the master card. I go through stages of actively doing this and stages of letting it slide and we've been on a slide for a little while now. We plan to move just before Christmas so I need to cut spending and budget for that but I keep telling myself i'll just get one more thing. As part of the moving issue i'm trying to cut down on what we're moving by selling off and getting rid of things we don't use. While I know I will 'use' the fitness equipment Michelle suggests,
i'm concerned that come January it will be another few things to take up space and be unused. I do have a Wii fit balance board complete with step add on and I have a set of 1kg wii dumbbells, so I have a little voice telling me "they'll do"

But why am I selling myself short before the program even starts? Why am I stuck on this particular excuse? I did have a portable step and some weights before that I borrowed from my Mum, I would borrow them back but I don't know if she still has them and she does live interstate.

I want to make this a non-issue by buying the weights and the portable step tonight online but I want to go out and buy new sneakers on the weekend and I'm concerned my husband will inforce a limit if I spend more money this week ... after all I did just buy a heart rate monitor ... maybe I could wait until after pay day ... or I could pay for it on paypal with the money from things i've sold ... hmm ... either way it might be polite to check with my husband first :)

Wednesday, September 1, 2010

Weigh in day ...

I noticed last week that on the 12WBT weigh in day is Wednesday so I thought i'd shift my day from Monday (dumb choice because all the weekend binges end up on the scales) to the correct day. So in the last 9 days I have lost


I'm pretty happy with that given I haven't been following a structured exercise plan (actually I haven't been exercising at all!) but instead have been working on eating better by having meals from Michelle's Crunch Time Cookbook for breakfast and lunch. I am allowed two healthy snacks a day but i've been largely skipping them because my dinners haven't been diet and so i figure will swallow up those calories without even trying. I don't know how many calories I burn in an average day but chasing after 3 kids has got to count for something.

While I am impressed to have lost over a kilo i'm saving my excitement for next week incase this is just a fluctuation and i'm back to my original weight next Wednesday.

I am hopeful to knock off another kilo next week because today my new toy arrived:

My Polar FT4 Heart Rate Monitor (HRM)!

I only found 30 minutes to use it today and I just love being able to check how hard I'm working and push myself to go harder. It was disappointing to check after my work out and find that only 4 minutes of my 36 minute work out was working "in the zone" but its a start. Tomorrow I hope to get up early and do a Wii fit work out wearing it to see how well I do ... I did start a work out this morning (a big effort for me to get out of bed before my girls) but I only managed 15 min before they were screaming to get up ... So I'll look to get out of bed earlier tomorrow.

So now i'm going to make myself a cup of tea (no milk, no sugar) and relax infront of a DVD and do some knitting. I found it worked wonders for me last night and helped me to avoid snacking!