Well the slump has eased which is great. I hate to admit it but I think the main reason it eased is because I lost 100g on the scales this week. I would love to not be attached to the pass/fail results of a weigh in but I'm not. Instead my happiness is directly related to how I expect I will rate on the scales - which obviously needs to change! This week I was concerned because I've been reaching a bit for my old comfort treats to relax at the end of the day - alcohol, I know this isn't good but its what i've been choosing to do. At the end of a long day with grizzly, sick, demanding kids I have then faced packing a few more boxes and at the end of it all sat down with a glass of cointreau or grand marnier ... I have earnt it, but its not guilt free.
I did do what I said I would on Monday - I went for a run to clear my head. I had told myself it was "too hard" to workout during the day and I was partially right. It is "hard" to do a full session when your three year old is with you all day long but we've come to a balance. I don't let her paint when her younger sisters are awake so instead she can paint outside while Mummy runs. Sure there is the problem that she calls me over to show me her artwork, ask for more paint, show me she painted dots, ask for more paper, ask me to clean the brush, show me she's painted all over her hand, ask to have her hand cleaned and then again to show me she has painted, but at the end of needing my attention she now says "more running" to get me back running around the yard. She's a great little cheer squad! I can normally kick my heart rate up close to maximum before she needs me again which helps, also having dance music on my Ipod fires me up and keeps me going. I am limited in what exercises I can do because she wants to copy me (except for the running) so weights work is out of the question and lunges have me laughing too hard to stand upright (picture a three year old doing Mums "funny walk" across the yard). So instead i've been doing a fair amount of running which isn't a bad thing. After our workout we have a mat each that we roll out and do crunches and stretches together - well I crunch and she lays there with her hands by her head :) . I am cautious to portray Mum's exercise as something fun I like to do and to try and keep the weight and body issues out of it - she is too young to have any concept of that and with three daughters i'm aware it will be an issue for many years in our house so certainly doesn't need to start now. I make a point of weighing in on Wednesday before the kids get up in the morning so they don't see that part of my life.
So coming off a rut its been good to hold steady this week. Its also been good to see the pile of boxes growing, and the list of thing to pack growing shorter. We'll be on the road in 27 days so the 12WBT, my drive across the country and my reveal in Adelaide will all be here before I know it. I think the big reveal is the part thats stressing me most about my numbers at weigh in. If it was purely for me I could accept that 55-57kg is my happy range, but when i'm facing people who are "expecting" me to have lost weight I want to have achieved 110% ... its also my in-laws i'm facing so thats probably adding extra weight ... and then the wedding we're attending on the 18th ... I must remember these things when faced with the temptation to snack or to skip a work out.
For now the best thing I can do is get some sleep. I packed three tea-chest sized boxes today so I'm feeling good. I skipped the workout, but it was hot and I was active all day long with wrapping (they were boxes of fragile glassware) and packing. So I earnt the day off from exercise.